Sweeping

10/2/25

Across the table an old woman sits  in a wheel chair  slowly chewing cornflakes and blue cheese. A dribble of milk down her chin , slow movement of the hand to wipe it away…multiple strokes take their toll. 

She pauses her eating…” When I die Heaven will be an endless field of yellow flowers where I can run free, run as fast and as far as I can”…the spoon taken up again loaded with soggy flakes mixed with bits of blue…

I remain silent to honor the moment…

Quiet fills the room. She again pauses and looks at me…” I don’t know why I am even here…”

Quiet again…

“ Because you are our mother and you have so nobly brought us to this place”

Tears fill her eyes…” Thank you”

She died not long after at peace in her own bed with family at her side. 

I just finished another ride…this time as a route leader on the bike half a day and driving the support van the other half. 

I feel at peace…my belongings in a cubby 2 feet by  1 1/2 feet and two feet deep…all my worldly “stuff” left behind. This ride I am not the White Rabbit but rather the Sweep, always behind to be of help to the other less experienced riders in front of me. 

Riding alone most of the time I  am one with Nature…this ride has almost no roads or cars…rather endless tree tunnels.

As I ride I think back to my life and wonder at all the branches in the path I have taken. Should I have chosen a different way , do I have any regrets?

Last night my two granddaughters came bursting into my house full of joy and excitement. The 8 year old was allowed to get her ears pierced  after lengthy family negotiations and the 5 year had a new necklace to balance  her sister’s reward. 

Any thoughts of different paths or  regrets dissolve as they smother me in hugs…

I think back to my mother’s existential query…” Why am I here?”

Western Society values are based on nouns…to be blunt…” stuff”… I think we have gotten it all wrong. Life is about verbs….rides along a meandering path…. 

Near the top of my ride is  the small town of Ohiopyle. There cascades and falls highlight Mother Nature’s hand…torrents of water flowing down hill. 

Picture

Life is like this river flowing from up high to the oceans below….birth to death…part of a journey we all share.

Long ago I found purpose in life…helping to remove stones and boulders from  rivers to aid other’s flow . On these rides I reconnect with Nature and strip back the tarnish of stuff to reconnect with the River and settle into the role of being a Sweeper…sometimes clearing the path ahead for two little girls, sometimes cheering on those next to me near exhaustion from the toil, sometimes staying behind to help riders lost in the woods. 

I have been blessed with health and familial longevity…two more rides are planned next year… again as a Sweeper.

The time will come somewhere down the path where I will sit eating cornflakes and blue cheese pondering the nature of Heaven while my son quietly looks on… 

What will that vision of the Afterlife be? 

Only time will tell …but I doubt I will have any regrets about the path I took…